Release the cow...

It all began when I had my first Big Mac back when I was about 6 years old. By the time I was 13, I was definitely a fast food burger pro eating 2 or 3 of the biggest burgers anywhere I went. This macho-esque form of proving my manhood eventually got out of control and in University at a dorm party I was humbled after trying to eat 10 Big Macs... That was the day I would retire from the "let's-see-how-many-burgers-I-can-stuff-into-my-body" days. But something beautiful came out of this... not so long later, I would discover the ability to relax and enjoy the burger for all that it's worth... and now I want to share this with everyone.

Since was such a success even though I have very little coffee experience, the Vancouver Hamburger Hunt should easily be my masterpiece. It will be very simple, I will go out and eat burgers and share with you all that is burger...

Sunday, August 10, 2008

White Spot

Truly Legendary

I'm not going to say much, just because it simply is my favorite burger. Today I ordered what I always order... the BC Burger. Instead of Cheddar cheese, I get Jack cheese, and I also add raw onions.

Now I couldn't pick a better time to write about White Spot... if you hadn't noticed, White Spot is currently running some gay commercials trying to boost their status to an Earls or Cactus Club style. They've renovated all their restaurants in the last 10 years to get out of the diner style they used to have. Well, I miss the diner style. I will never try any of their new fancy dishes... they will always be nothing more than a burger joint, no matter what the hostess' are wearing.

But since their new commercials, somethings have changed and I am impressed. They put more sunflower seeds into the coleslaw. I couldn't believe it... I always wanted to ask for more sunflower seeds. It was fantastic. The waiter also asked me if I wanted the 4 ounce or the 6 ounce burger... which was also new. Boy if the burger couldn't get any better... it did. xMy good buddy Jeff blessed me with his presence. (He has been working 14 hour days at EA sports and without a single day of in the last month or so... I hate video games.) Now he ordered the Monty Mushroom burger. I once ordered this burger simply because it is a popular burger at White Spot. I never liked it because the mushrooms seemed like they were out of a can. Well today they were fresh.

It was like the White Spot had secretly taken a survey with my subconscious, added up all the results, and then made the changes accordingly... Thank you White Spot... You will always be the greatest!!!

Quote from Jeff:
"Damn Yo"

Report Card:
burger and joint - A+++

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Vera's Burger Shack (2922 Main St.)

Following the hype… why wouldn’t I go to the next burger joint that seems to be popping up all over map… Vera’s Burger Shack. I like the name. Even though I would have preferred just “Burger Shack”. But maybe I will like it if I knew something about this person Vera.
So… who is Vera?
Well she and her hubby Frank had this burger joint on the beach way back in the 70s. Props… I hella like the beach and I do appreciate mom and pop shacks. However since the 70s, this place was passed down to the grandkids and probably lazily given up to some guy named Noah, who I am assuming is some corporate hot shot trying to take advantage of the reputation of love and family constructed by Vera’s family. Let’s see how well the love still shows through.

Well, it’s Sunday again and Steve and I decided to refuel our energy after another Sunday afternoon hockey game. We tied 2-2. But we did good. Steve and I connected on a beautiful give and go play around the defence on a 2 on 1 to tie the game with just a few minutes left. We let this guy Ryan come along since he potted the first goal. Ryan proved worthy to bring along on this trip as he is a little different then the rest of us, so it was interesting to see his results at Vera’s would be. See… Ryan not only sings “I am the Warrior” by Pat Benetar while taping his hockey stick, but he is also a vegetarian. So how disappointed we all were when Vera’s told him that they were out of veggie patties. Ha ha... this is what you get for insinuating that I am a fairy for playing rollerhockey... you have to settle for some poutine. He liked it even though I thought it kinda looked like a vagina after sex. But I did get some insight out of him... he explained that if Vera and Frank were running the show, they would have probably picked up some Money’s Mushroom burgers across the street at the IGA. Good call… I bet you they would have tried to make sure they don't alienate the few choosies out there.

Steve and I were very happy with our BIG BEEFY Burgers. They were just regular burgers with the works, but we both agreed that the reason they get props was because they were very saucy. The bun was much better that what I remembered at Splitz… and the meat was no different from what you would cook on your BBQ at home... but that means really good if you didn't pick that up last week. However if you take a look at the web site, they show quite a mean burger that I just didn’t see. Just once I would love for a burger to look the way it is advertised. If you own a burger joint and want to prove that this can come true… send me a pic and I will come!

The atmosphere was good. They were playing a CD instead of the radio. I think it was Amy Winehouse but none of her tunes are sampled on the internet. Oh well, I guess I will just have to download her discography which you can all find here…

$15.49 for a burger, beer and fries... a little pricy

Report Card
Burger – A
Joint – B
Price – C
Management – D

Ps… that’s just a coincidence

Monday, March 3, 2008

Splitz Grill (4242 Main Street)

This is where it all began. After reading the Georgia Straight, I see that there is a burger joint opening just around the corner by my place on Main Street and King Edward in Vancouver. Here's the ad...
As you can see, it just seems too good to be true. 10 years best burger in Whistler? Says who? Ross Rebagliati? If it's his opinion or all the rest of those snow junkies in Whistler, I have a good idea that it might not just be the burger talking.

I found it my duty to go out there and discover the truth. It's a Sunday night and it couldn't be a more perfect time to go for a burger. Steve and I had just played hockey so we needed to restore some energy. We also lost 3-1 to a bunch of meat heads called the Van Wonders, so like getting dumped by your girlfriend and eating dilly bars mashed into strawberry shortcake to soothe the pain... I digress.

We walk into Splitz and it's cool... it's new. They have a cheesy wall where everyone writes how much they love the burgers, but I don't find it all that credible.
I walk up to the man at the counter and ask him what his favorite burger is... We talked burger talk and he was a good dude and proud to be working there. But when I combo up, I decide I want a bigger pop. He tells me just to give him an extra 50 cents... and then from out of nowhere, this little blond chick sneaks up on him and tells him to make sure he charges me tax with that. Well not only did she kill our burger bonding glory, but she made the total 53 cents instead of the 50 that he asked for, which is so inconvenient... AND, not only was that so condescending to him but it was sooooooo petty, and that will eventually get under his skin. Anyways, I don't know much about managing skills, but I'm figuring she's either hired by some tight ass corporate seeking goonbas or her panties shrunk too much in the last tumble dry.

So the whole process to get your burger at Splitz is weird. First you order, and then you sit down. 5 minutes after open flame grilling your burger they call you up, and you tell them what kind of toppings you want Subway styles, then you sit down again. Then you finally pick up your burger, fill up your fountain soda and grab some ketchup popppers before you finally get to sit down to chow down. Well, if you're not a lazy dude... it's fine but jeesh... I felt like Vanna White.

So I chomp into the burger. You know what? It's really no different then any barbecue burger that you make at home. I got the special Splitz garlic mayo and I couldn't even taste it. Kind of disappointing for 13$ of food, however it was a good piece of beef. Half way through the burger I had to pull out the rest of my bacon that was burnt to a crisp.

Well, to stop my complaining, the radio played some good music and Steve and I talked about me buying his motorcycle off him. He's gonna give me a great deal! Next blog... diners in the middle of nowhere!

PS... We didn't clean up after ourselves because the garbage can was overflowing... yuck!
Report Card
Burger - B
Service - B
The Joint - C
The Price - C-
Manager - D

Final word: Like Flavor Flav says... "Don't believe the hype!"